​Hey Reader,​

Have you ever been eagerly anticipating the vacation of your dreams when SUDDENLY — crisis hits?

This summer, I booked a family trip to England (to see my husband's family) and Norway (which is a bucket list trip for me). Everything about Norway has always intrigued me, from the scenery to the culture to the mythology and more.

I planned our week in Norway down to the minute, in some cases. That’s what has to happen when you organize your very own Norway in a Nutshell tour. This route is Norway’s most popular, and includes the scenic Bergensbanen, the historic Flåmsbana, the fjord village of Flåm, the UNESCO-listed Nærøyfjord, and more. Essentially, it’s trains on boats on trains, and requires a lot of planning if you DIY.

As we would also have our toddler in tow, I booked every single thing (apart from our flights, which were unfortunately not refund-optional!) fully refundable.

The rise

After a few days in the UK up near Manchester with my mother-in-law, it was Norway time! My mother-in-law drove us to the airport as my daughter and I chatted in the backseat about seeing Elsa soon.

We checked our bags at the check-in desk and handed over our passports. Just as one of our suitcases disappeared into the bowels of the airport, the airline employee handed back our passports.

“The two of you are ready to go.” She smiled at my daughter and me. “But unfortunately, you’re unable to travel.” She nodded her head at my husband.

RECORD SCRATCH! I’m sorry, what?

The fall

Long story short, because of Brexit, UK passports expire ten years from the issue date rather than the expiration date. So my husband still has a year until his passport actually expires, but he can’t travel to Europe with it because it was issued over ten years ago.

We don’t live in the UK, so it was the first we’d ever heard of that rule. And we were allowed to book our flights from Manchester to Oslo without any notification or reminder, as well as check in (and give our passport details in advance!).

I was in complete and total shock. And yet, like clockwork, my brain switched straight into one of the modes in which it operates best: crisis mode.

The scramble

As we waited for our bags to come back out, I explained to my toddler that were not, in fact, going to see Elsa (TEARS ALL AROUND). We got in touch with my mother-in-law to come back and get us. Everybody had something to eat. I whipped out my phone and canceled every booking I had painstakingly made over the past few months in under thirty minutes. We got back to my mother-in-law’s house and ate again.

Then, I spent the next eight or so hours poring over maps of the UK, cross-checking AirBnB locations with train times, sketching out a weekend away in Edinburgh (did we want to compete with the chaos of the last weekend of the Fringe?), a week’s journey on Scotland’s West Highland Railway Line (including over the Glenfinnan Viaduct, which other Harry Potter fans would recognize!), and a number of other half-baked ideas.

After everyone went to bed, I stayed up, stressing. Despite all of my efforts, my perfect “project” was in shambles. My chest was tight, I was sad, my breathing was shallow, my shoulders ached. We had left the airport hours ago, yet nothing was resolved, and I had no clear next steps. I felt like I just had to keep pushing myself until whatever I was doing was done.

Or did I?

The choice

Something I’ve been working on in recent years is to stop constantly being in crisis mode (with lifelong anxiety, crisis is a pretty standard mode for me). My brain registers lots of everyday to-dos as fires to put out rather than simply items on a checklist — things that can be prioritized, back-burnered, downgraded, outsourced, delegated, or even eliminated entirely.

The connection

And plenty of leaders do the same. It’s even harder for leaders of purpose-driven companies and nonprofits who juggle not just how to make a profit, but how to take care of their people, grow great teams, nurture their cultures, work toward their missions, and live their organizations’ values in their everyday behaviors.

Change is constant. But crises should not be.

Technically, my vacation crisis was over, but I was still in crisis mode.

So, what did I do — and what can leaders do when they and their organizations are in crisis mode?

1) When the crisis is over, get out of crisis mode

You have to define the crisis, mark its end, and transition into change mode.

How I did it

I asked myself, at 2am, if what I was experiencing in that moment was a crisis.

Technically, the crisis was over once I finished canceling everything that needed to be canceled before the deadline for refunds and when the airline employee brought out our retrieved suitcases that had thankfully not made their own journey without us to Norway.

It was sad and stressful to miss out on Norway, but being on vacation in a nice place (the UK’s Peak District) and not having a second vacation to go on is not a crisis.

If therapy has taught me anything, part of the transition is feeling your feelings. I was SAD. I was MAD. And that was okay. I could be sad and mad. And I could commit to experiencing and enjoying what we decided to do instead of Norway, but it was not an emergency to figure out what that would be at 2am when I was sad, mad, and exhausted.

How leaders can do it

What is the crisis you are facing or have recently faced? A delayed launch? A key employee leaving? Another month of not hitting your revenue goal? A problem client who is draining resources?

When did or does this end? When is the launch delayed until? When is the employee leaving? When does the month end or the contract end or your current business development strategy end? Put the crisis into a container.

Feel your feelings. You and your teams can be mad, sad, tired, stressed, whatever. Acknowledge that. Validate it. And lead the way forward.

2) Make values-based decisions

When you (or your organization’s) nervous system is regulated rather than disregulated, what are you supposed to do next? Make your values do what they’re supposed to do: guide your behaviors.

How I did it

I went to bed. Taking care of myself is one of my top values (for a really long time, it wasn’t!). When I woke up, I ate a big breakfast. I got a coffee and sat in my mother-in-law’s English garden. I felt my feelings again (still mad!). I left my laptop closed. I thought. What are my values? How would they express themselves in this situation? What does it make sense for me to do next? What are my options?

How leaders can do it

Once the crisis is in its container, “sit in an English garden with a cup of coffee” and breathe. Think: What are our organization’s values? How would they express themselves in this situation? What does it make sense for us to do next? What are our options?

3) Lean on the insight of experts

I’m just gonna be blunt: shit is crazy. 2020 tipped the world into chaos and it seems like the past five years have just been one tidal wave of change after another, leaving most folks struggling to keep their heads above water both personally and professionally. It’s exhausting, but I have found that connecting with others to share resources and asking for help has saved me.

How I did it

Once I checked in with my values and committed to letting them guide my decision-making, I assessed my resources. Who knows more than I do here? What information can I get from them that I can use in collaboration with my values? My mother-in-law has lived in the Manchester area for decades. The internet exists. With my values in my back pocket to guide my decision-making, I gathered expert input and put everything into my new container of calm so that I could make a plan.

How leaders can do it

As a leader, you might not have all of the information, expertise, or answers when it comes to the constant flood of change your organization experiences. Who does? You are the expert when it comes to your organization and your values, so bring that to the table when you connect with someone who has the expertise you need to partner with you as you lead your organization. This can be a new key hire, a peer leader, a consultant, a mentor, a coach, or a community.

The calm

We ended up having a beautiful full two weeks in the UK. I had a luxurious afternoon tea on my birthday. We hiked heather-covered hills and took silly photos with sheep. My daughter spent more time with her cousins and watched A LOT of Peppa Pig.

When we do get to Norway (next year?) she will be older, stronger, and might even remember the trip. So if we do see Elsa, what a treat that will be.

If you could get out of crisis mode, where would you go? What would you do? What would you focus on?

Talk soon,

Caitlin

Caitlin Harper Founder, Commcoterie

P.S. — Ready to lean on the insight of experts? Reply to this email (it goes straight back to me!) and let me know what’s going on with your organization and your teams. If you’re ready to set up time to talk, we can do that, and if I can’t help you, I’ll lean on my network of experts so that I can connect you with someone who can.

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Resources

• I recently recorded an episode of the Ways We Learn podcast talking about effective organizational change. It doesn't drop until 10/15/24, but here's a clip where I'm chatting with the host, Sean Dagony-Clark, about how all change is harm — and what leaders can do about that. Subscribe to Ways We Learn and check out other awesome episodes wherever you get your podcasts or at welearn.fm.
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• I posted on LinkedIn last week about how I had meant to write a post about the experiences I had, people I met, and things I learned at BLD Southeast last month. But my joy has been overshadowed by the pain and destruction Hurricane Helene has caused in that very region. Luckily, the B Local Triangle North Carolina has shared ways to help B Local Ashville and Western North Carolina and the folks in those communities who are providing on-the-ground support for the hardest-hit areas.
  • You can Venmo my friend, Adrianne, a B Local Asheville Board member and brilliant human at @Adrianne-Gordon-4 (last four phone digits 2643). She is doing supply runs back to her community from South Carolina. This is what I've done!
  • Happy Dirt is fundraising to support WNC farmers who desperately need it.
  • ​BeLoved Asheville is another organization on the ground using donations to connect their communities to critical necessities like food, water, and healthcare for survival and stability.
• Speaking of Adrianne, she created a Voter Participation Toolkit for Businesses, a simple (nonpartisan) three-step approach for leaders to help employees participate in elections. The toolkit includes a guide to the three-step approach for leaders, sample content and graphics ready to go (for states in the Southeastern US) with details like early voting dates and unique QR codes to register or update registration, and general graphics and customizable templates for folks across the US. Check out the toolkit and give Adrianne a shout to let her know her work is making a difference!

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